This blog started out as a recollection of my trip around Europe in 2010-11. That trip was inspired by the thought of a reunion with my cousins. However, being the busy adults they were, in the midsts of discussions, they were forced to drop out. Now where did that leave me? Did I still want to go it alone, when that was the issue that had stopped me from travelling all those other times? Seeing their situation, I knew I didn't want to look back and wish that I had travelled when I had the time. So on that rare stroke of decisiveness, I bought my ticket, just in case I reconsidered (which I usually did). And that's all there is to it. This blog is to document the worldly travels of Hayden as he explores the unknown.

Mission: To have the most amazing time seeing the world whilst I'm still young enough to not care so much about the future.



Tuesday, 28 September 2010

Mission complete...

So I survived my first all-nighter. That was my mission. Not my thesis. As if I could have completed the thesis in one night. Surprisingly I'm not as tired now that the sun has come up (not that I would know since my little cell has no windows). I managed to get all the training data from my 111 data files, and collate them into one simple graph. Also worked on my second draft of my method and results, and added 400 words. OK that doesn't sound like much, but when you're redrafting, that's actually heaps. Had a 1.5 hour nap at 4:30am, which really helped.

From my first all-nighter here at uni, I now know that the cleaners come into the building at 3:30am to start the whole cleaning process. And they certainly are a noisy group of people. But I guess they wouldn't expect anyone to still be in the building working. The cleaner came into Lab201 at 6am, and was surprised to see me in there. Luckily he didn't come in earlier, or he would have seem me lying on the floor semi-asleep. I'm sure in the next few days, there'll be more and more of us honours students staying back at uni to work on our theses. We will probably need to put a "Do Not Disturb" sign up on the door, in order to stop them coming in and disturbing our sleep/work.

It's only 9:20am, but the memory of yesterday and last night seems like it happened so long ago. But as for today, lots of studying to be done. Fun.

HBL signing out.

Intro done, but still so much to do...

The building is eerily quiet. I'm surprised that all the lights are still on. You'd think that they'd turn off the lights to save power. From time to time, I hear doors open and close, which I'm gonna assume is the result of the security guard patrolling the place (and not because of the ghost that haunts Lab201). He hasn't checked in here though, so I assume he doesn't have swipe access, or maybe he just assumes that no one would be stupid enough to spend the whole night at uni.

Anyways, so it's now 12:30am. I've "completed" my intro and sent it off with a grand total of 4628 words. Just had a great bludging session on Facebook. Now it's time to start getting back into the workload. Only another 8 hours before the rest of the 201 crew come in.

HBL signing out.

Monday, 27 September 2010

First all-nighter...and at uni...

TWO WEEKS TIL THE THESIS IS DUE!!

It's amazing what a deadline can do. I've been so productive over the last few days, even though I failed to meet my (self-imposed) deadline. I was meant to send my supervisor my completed intro by last night. However, I was only at 3500 words for the intro. Unfortunately, I couldn't send that to him, because at our meeting on Friday, I lied and told him I was at 3500 words (when I was only at 2000). Therefore, if I sent him my intro with 3500 words, it would be like I'd done nothing over the two days. Currently on 4362 words and anticipating finishing it and sending it to him tonight.

Tonight, I am pulling my first ever all-nighter. And to make it interesting, I am doing it at uni. I'll be in my little 1.5mx4m cell, with my Red Bull and family size pack of biscuits to help me through the night. Hoping to get my intro done before 9pm, and then spend the rest of the night fixing up my method and results sections. And possibly starting my discussion section. Or studying for my upcoming exams. Bah! So much to do. I think there's gonna be a lot more all-nighters in the next two weeks.

HBL signing out.

Friday, 24 September 2010

Psych trumps dent...

Currently on 6000 words for my thesis, and it's due in 17 days. I'm starting to really freak out. I know I've left things to the last minute before, but this is just so major that it seems that there's a possibility that I might not finish in time. In order to get myself up to speed, I've imposed a mini-deadline, and told my supervisor that I would send him a completed intro by Sunday night. That gives me 48 hours to write another 3000 or so words, plus fix up my method and results.

Once that's all done by Sunday night, I should start studying for my two final exams on Wednesday and Thursday. The exam on OCD and PTSD should be OK. There's only two lectures to study. As for the exam for my elective, there's twelve or so articles to study, and memorise. And the annoying thing is that the article I presented won't be tested. But I guess with some solid study time, I should be able to get both these exams done with relative ease.

Then comes Friday. My interview for dentistry. I'm not really sure how to prepare for this. I've done a few interviews before, and the only one I can truly say that I was successful in, was my Yellow Shirt interview when I first got selected. I've failed at all other interviews. Not a very good track record. However, I do now have a lot more examples of initiative, leadership, communication and teamwork examples because of Yellow Shirts. Although, I'm not sure whether they'll appreciate constantly hearing about Yellow Shirts. But we'll see.

Being a dentist was something I'd always imagined myself doing. However, I just can't picture myself going through another four arduous years of study. But I guess it's nice to have options just in case org psych falls through. Dentist or organisational psychologist? I know I'd definitely prefer being a psychologist. I'll know the results of dentistry in early December, and the results of org psych in mid-December. That's gonna be a nerve-wracking few weeks for me. Luckily, I should be somewhere nice. I anticipate that I'll be somewhere in London at that time (or Lucerne, if I need to be Skyped for my interview). Either way, I'll be a lot happier when it's all over and I know with a bit more certainty what my future path is. Please give me at least one of them!!

HBL signing out.

Thursday, 23 September 2010

Back on the table...

Well there's been an interesting development. It appears that my heartfelt email has convinced the course convenor that it was indeed unfair to only announce the addition of a selections interview with such little notice. She has offerred me the opportunity to have an early interview. However, this doesn't guarantee anything, because I still need the marks to get shortlisted. Once I get shortlisted, there'll be another interview, possibly over the phone or Skype. Seems like there might be hope after all. Although depending on when the early interview is, I may need to push back my departure date a week or two, which I'm fine with just as long as I don't need to return to the country for an interview.

In other good news, I'm gonna be a Yellow Shirt again!! More fun times ahead!!

HBL signing out.

Possibly no future in psych...

I received horrible news yesterday. I found out org psych at UNSW now required an interview. I guess it wouldn't be anything that you would consider serious, but to me, this was a big part of my future plans. I was OK with not attending Macquarie interviews because I still at least had UNSW. But when it was announced that the system was changed, my world actually fell apart on the spot. The inital shock then became anger. They had known for so long, and yet only now did they decide to inform us of the change. I wouldn't have booked my flights if I had known I would have no postgrad psych options.

I was ruminating and venting to everyone who would listen. It just seems that with every step you take in psych, you're hit in the face with another restriction/obstacle. Sometimes I wish I had taken the Asian route and done a commerce degree. Sure I'd be conforming to the stereotype, but at least I'd have a job. But what's done is done. No point in counterfactual thinking. Let it be known that you should never drive angry/upset. You know how people say "I'm gonna go for a drive to clear my head and cool off"...yeah that doesn't work. If you're that angry, you will be ruminating, and your attention to your surroundings will be markedly decreased. Take it from me. I almost had three accidents yesterday on the way to and from work.

Coming home, I had a nice long vent to my mum. She suggested that I just fly out as planned but return in time for the interview. But I don't know how enjoyable my "holiday" would be if I knew I had to return for an interview. So who knows what's gonna happen. Do I still go or not? What's more important? A Eurotrip or a chance to do org psych? It's not even guaranteed which is what is so annoying. I can't plan my life around a maybe. Sometimes I wonder whether this is really worth it? How do I even know that being an org psych will make me happy in the future? It's all just wishful thinking at this point. Only time will tell.

A good night's sleep has helped clear my head immensely. The anger has subsided and is now replaced with my usual calm self. The thoughts of "what if" and "if only" are gone. Now it's more a matter of what can I do now. What is in my control? We'll see how this all pans out.

And yes, I do realise that this post is very angsty. But I'm an angsty person. And I don't cope well (not at first).

HBL signing out.

Tuesday, 21 September 2010

Uncertainty's a bitch...

I've now got 4500 words of my thesis done, which is my method and results section completed for both experiments plus a little bit for intro. Progress is painstakingly slow. I really wish I found my topic interesting, so it would make writing it up so much easier. Staying at uni til 9 tonight to try and get more words down on paper.

But at the end of it all, what do I get? I get a single degree for four years of study. There's so much emphasis on having that degree. And then there's the need for a postgrad degree as well. If I were brave, I would just venture out into the world with only my Bachelor's degree and see where that takes me. It's been drummed into my head since that very first day of uni that I need that Masters degree. Well if I need it so badly, why not just make it a 6 year degree then? Why make it so that not everyone who starts the road to psychology can finish it? To me, this is a stupid system, and one that has given me so much grief over the past few months.

Right now, my only option is Masters of Organisation Psychology at UNSW since Macquarie doesn't conduct interviews over Skype. But what if I don't make it? I will only find out whether I'm in or out in mid-December and by then, all of the applications for grad positions are closed anyway. Not that I could apply anyway given that I'll be somewhere in Europe. But nevertheless, the whole uncertainty of the road to registration as a psychologist is something that annoys me so much.

But whatever happens happens. I'm not a big enough person to say that I won't rant and rage if I don't make it, because I know I will. That's just how I am. Anger management is not one of my strong points. And it will take me a while to get over it. But eventually I'll be able to move on from it, by justifying that I never really wanted to a Masters degree in the first place. But hopefully, it all works out for the best. If not, I'll still have my back-up option of dentistry (assuming I can get into that).

HBL signing out.

Sunday, 19 September 2010

Cos you're hot then you're cold...

So the Yellow Shirts interview was harder than expected. Definitely harder than last year's. But hopefully my answers were good enough to get me through. Plus, breaking out into song during the group activity should have helped my chances lol. I can honestly say that this will be the only time that I will ever break into song during an interview. Now comes the long four-day wait until the email comes.

And on a side note, once again no thesis work done today. However I did watch the first episode of Survivor Nicaragua. I anticipate a full day of thesis writing tomorrow. Aim: To get total word count up to 6000. We'll see how that goes.

HBL signing out.

Uni. Sunday. Morning. These words do not go together...

It feels so weird (and wrong) to be at uni at 8:30am on a Sunday. It's a freakin' ghost town. Needed to come in for my Yellow Shirts interview which is in the arvo, but since there was a marathon on or whatnot, roads were closed off and I didn't want to run the risk of being late because of buses taking detours. As for the interview itself, I'm not as nervous as I was this last time last year. I guess it's because I've been through it, and know that I can make it. Plus, there'll be a lot more friendly faces this time around.

But while I'm here early, I might as well take the time to do some of my thesis. Word count currently at 3500 words. After reanalysing the data last night, I seem to have stumbled upon an interesting result. There appears to a significant interaction between saliency and surprise which, if I've done the correct analyses, will be the basis of my 5000 word discussion section. Fun.

HBL signing out.

Saturday, 18 September 2010

Dedicated to my dear look-alike Benson...

I couldn't really think of a title for this post so I decided that it would be dedicated to my Mermaid counterpart, Benson. Hope you had the most awesome birthday ever. You're finally 21. Make sure to live it up while you're still young, especially before you get bogged down with surgeries and Grey's Anatomy style relationships/flings. I signed your guestbook as Benson, but I assume you would know who it was lol.

Now, a recap of my night. Great time catching up with the Double Squad last night to celebrate Benson's 21st birthday. Met up with Kyle at uni and went for dinner at a nice little Malaysian restaurant on Hunter Street that sold laksa. First time trying laksa. It was...ordinary, but nice. Kyle would stab me for that. Then met up with Rommel at Lindt Cafe where we decided to bum until 9ish cos only lame people show up to a party on time. Hot chocolate was awesome, but not as sweet as I would have liked it. Seems like all we talked about during that time at Lindt Cafe was our upcoming travels and acne. Interesting topic. Did you know that a type of acne treatment is also an anti-malarial treatment? Yeah I didn't either. That's how the two topics linked.

After that very insightful conversation, we headed up to Benson's, where we found that he wasn't even drunk yet. Alas, I'm sure that would have changed later in the night. Emo King Mirza and Mermaid Queen Meg were already there, as was Boobie Beth. It was like a little Mutinous Mermaids reunion (but Mermaids won this round lol). Some random (besides Meg) confused me with Benson. I still don't see how we can be confused, but Meg appears to have a natural skill for mistaking me for Benson, but never the other way around. I think it's time to take out the competition. Benson, get ready to duel to the death. Only one can survive. But knowing everyone, once I destroy you, I'll still be called Benson. Looks like I'll never win so I'll allow you to live. Consider it your birthday present, look-alike.

Well, after leaving Benson's, found out I just missed my train and would have to wait half an hour til the train at 12:30am. By that time, it would have been easier for me to just wait until 1:30am and get driven home by Amanda. So I just wandered around the city that whole time. And then I found out that they weren't leaving til 2:30am. Was now regretting the decision not to take the train back. But alas, couldn't change it now and so I just continued to wander the streets of the city like a tourist (but without a camera). Must have trekked at least 5kms last night. Time seemed to slow down, and 2:30am seemed to never come, but when it finally did, it was a welcome relief. No more walking in the bloody cold. Finally got home at 3:30am. So much for having an early night.

But yeah, I'm now doing this instead of my thesis, and I'm about to head out for coffee to catch up with an old friend. Thesis, you will have to wait til I'm done.

HBL signing out.

Friday, 17 September 2010

Dear Diary...

Blogging is strangely addictive. I was never one to keep a diary or anything, but I can now understand why people do it. It's not like anything interesting has happened but having somewhere to write your thoughts seems to be quite therapeutic.

Just finished my presentation for today, so that means I have no more assessments (apart from two final exams) until the thesis is due. Aiming to get my intro, method, results and mini-discussion done for Experiment 2 today. We'll see if that actually ends up happening though. Most likely, I'll get halfway through and then reward myself for working so studiously with a Facebook break (which will last for hours). Or maybe I'll just post on this blog.

Currently at uni now, and I'm all dressed up since I have a party to get to tonight. It's weird to be wearing such dressy clothes to uni. I keep getting looks from randoms. But the compliments from friends are worth it. OK I have four hours before I should leave for dinner. Time to get serious!!

HBL signing out.

Thursday, 16 September 2010

I refuse to change my plans...

Showed up late to my tute today whilst they were in the middle of a discussion about moving the final exam to after the thesis is due. No way was I gonna let this happen when I'm due to fly out the week after I hand in my thesis. Why would you not discuss the idea of moving the exam when the tutor told us about the exam six weeks ago? Why wait til now (when my travel plans are set)? Obviously I objected to the idea of a change in date, although I wasn't the only one. Got a few death stares. If it's not unanimous, it's not changing. That was the deal. You didn't even get the majority. Deal with it.

HBL signing out.

Wednesday, 15 September 2010

You don't scare me...

So the travel agent got back to me today. Couldn't match my quote of $280 from iTrek and offered $400 as their best price. However they then tried to scare me with a $250 administration fee, saying that if a third party insurer ever contacted them for documentation/information, then I would be slugged with this ridiculous fee. Being the resourceful person that I am, I promptly emailed iTrek about this issue, and they said that wouldn't need to contact the travel agent if I had photocopies of my tickets. Dodgy travel agent trying to scare me into purchasing my insurance from them. Simply dodgy.

In other news, Macquarie Uni got back to me about their org psych program, and unfortunately they wouldn't be conducting Skype interviews. Looks like my only option now for org psych is UNSW. No pressure.

HBL signing out.

Tuesday, 14 September 2010

A way to procrastinate...

Editing and posting on this blog is a great way to procrastinate. Same with planning a holiday. My thesis sits unopened on my desktop, feeling neglected.

At the moment, in terms of travel plans, I've got my ticket booked and that's it. I haven't even sorted out my accommodation at my uncle's place in Switzerland but I assume it's all good. Still waiting on an email regarding travel insurance from the travel agent to see whether she can match the quote of $280 that I got from iTrek. It's been ages. But if she matches the price I have, then that's a saving of $370 since she initially quoted me $650. Dodgy. As for my travels around Europe, I bought "Lonely Planet: Europe on a Shoestring" online which should be enough to direct me to all the good sites. Finally got dispatched yesterday. Here's hoping that it arrives before I fly out (which it should, otherwise it's the worst delivery company ever).

And at the moment, it looks like I might be travelling with a Texan who is also travelling solo, whom I met on CouchSurfers (great website for finding other travellers and finding hosts to show you around). Sending my Texan cousins over to check him out, but it should be all good. Anyways, that appears to be all that I've done to prepare for my trip so far. Here is a checklist of things I need to have done before I fly out:
  • Finish the thesis
  • Finish applications for postgrad courses
  • Sell Bon Jovi ticket (any takers?)
  • Borrow a spare netbook/laptop from someone so I can Skype and blog easily using wifi
  • Buy winter clothing
  • Sort out accommodation with my uncle
  • Organise my farewell dinner
  • Sort out whether I need to buy snow gear or I can just borrow
Alas, that is all I can think of now. I'm sure there's heaps more, but I think I've wasted enough time on this post. My thesis beckons.

HBL signing out (still) from Sydney, Australia.

Let's see if this works...

So this is the first time I've ever posted a blog. I don't know why I'm creating it now when I have more important things to attend to, like my thesis. Anyways, just a "test" post to see how this whole thing works so I won't have to fiddle around with learning how to use this thing once I'm in Europe and ready to blog my actual adventures. But for now, this is all. Time to work on the thesis, which is due in 28 days. And in 35 days, I fly out!! I think it's obvious which one I'm more excited about.

HBL signing out from Sydney, Australia. G'nite mate!!